i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
