he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
