Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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