I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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