We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
