I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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