Your mouth is God's brothel.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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