it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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