Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
