and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
