Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
