Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Your cock deserves a montage
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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