My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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