i just wanna soil my oats bro
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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