also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
