So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
