apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
