i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
