By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
