We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
