idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
