i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
