My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
