East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize