dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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