no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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