Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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