my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
