I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
