Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
