check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
