Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
