hotel room ftw
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
