I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Banned from zoo.
Again?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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