My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize