No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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