i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
