never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
