Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
