Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
