Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
