How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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