You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
