I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
