Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
