Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
No subtext here. People are naked.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
