In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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