Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
