nut hugger
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
