:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
