I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I want to make a zoo with you.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
