I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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