What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
