I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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