Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
