so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I want a musical about memes.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
