I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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