just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
